Just about one year ago I packed up my office at ABCS and began my time as a stay-at-home-wife, and then stay-at-home-mom.
The day I packed up my office was such a surreal day. I remember waking up early having contractions. I was having well over the limit of 6 per hour...but I laid there in bed, hoping and praying that they would go away. When James woke up for the day I told him I thought we might need to go to triage for what felt like the 100 millionth time for contractions (really, only the 3rd time...haha). As soon as he was showered and ready to take me, they stopped. Go figure. So, I sent him to work and began getting ready for work myself. By the time I had showered and done my hair, I was again having gazillions of contractions. So, I called James, who had just arrived at work, and told him to come back home. By the time we got to triage they had slowed down, but I was still having them. They called my dr, who told them to send me home, and that they were not longer going to try and stop contractions. If they brought on labor, so be it. So, James and I decided that I needed to be done with work, and be done that day. My last day was supposed to be that upcoming Friday, but my body seemed to disagree with that plan. So, we headed to my office and packed up close to 6 years worth of stuff I had accumulated while working there. It felt so weird, giving my keys back, and walking out with boxes of stuff, and knowing that I wasn't going to be getting anymore paychecks, and I wasn't going to be seeing my co-workers, whom I loved, on a daily basis. No more laughing with Ruben, no more pranks on Dane, no more gathering in Ashley's office to laugh until we cried, or to talk about deep, spiritual matters of our heart. It was a huge step of faith, trusting that God would provide for us and that He would guide us on the journey He had us on.
Of course, as soon as I turned in my keys, I pretty much stopped having contractions all together, and had almost a month of being a stay-at-home-wife before we welcomed Zack into the world. I enjoyed my time before he came, the calm before the storm, if you will. I got to nest like crazy, cook for my husband, and spend time with friends and family.
Now, I'm sitting here at the dining room table almost a year later and I can hardly believe this is my life. Today has been an incredibly ordinary day. I've changed lots of diapers, fed a little boy multiple times, took Zack for a run, we went grocery shopping, I've done dishes and spent some time doing bible study. But, I LOVE that I get the honor of having "ordinary" days with my little boy. I love that God has chosen me to be his mom, and James to be his dad. I love that my husband works so hard and provides for our family, so I can stay home and do these "ordinary" things. I love that God has given me this opportunity and I need to thank Him for it more often. Of course, I don't always enjoy these "ordinary" days. Some days are harder than others. And some days I wish I could "escape" to a desk job, and not have to think about doing more dishes, or changing yet another stinky diaper (which is usually more like a wresting match), or waiting impatiently for my husband to get home so he can entertain the baby. Thankfully the "I love my life" days far outnumber the "uugggggghhhhh" days. And, often times on the "uuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh" days I'm reminded that I asked God for this opportunity, and I need to be thankful.
Isaiah 60:5 says "Then, you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb, and swell with joy." Today, my heart is full of joy. And for the life I have been given, I am thankful.
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